Many of the healthier people I know—my wife, my daughters, my ­yoga-­loving friends—are cereal addicts. I am not a cereal addict. You could even describe this humble critic as a cereal curmudgeon. When given the choice between a bowl of ­virtuous-­looking oat flakes and a greasy mess of eggs, bacon, and grits in the morning, I will choose the greasy mess every time. But sometimes a man must eat cereal, especially when his employers insist upon it. On these pages are the results of my 100-bowl taste test, dutifully conducted in the New York office kitchen on a recent Friday afternoon. Note that we’ve included none of the classics here—no Cheerios, no Rice Krispies, no Cap’n Crunch, no Froot Loops. The focus, instead, is on righteous, next-­generation New Age cereals, all of which were chosen more or less at random from the shelves of Whole Foods. When it comes to cereals, you will notice, I tend to be a purist. The fewer ingredients listed on the box, the better. Sugar is permissible, but not too much of it. Artificial colorings should be avoided (except, for the record, when ingesting Froot Loops). And all newfangled, Yankee Candle–style flavorings (cinnamon, vanilla, etc.) are a really bad idea. Here, my ratings (1 is the worst, 4 the best) and tasting notes. Given my general distaste for the food group, it’s safe to say that any cereal I liked is probably pretty good. Now, pass the bacon.

365 Organic Morning O's Okay, but too buttery. Rating: 2	kashi Good Friends Cinna-Raisin Crunch Minus two points for the cinnamon. Rating: 2	kashi Mighty Bites Kashi for the kiddie set. Rating: 2	365 Raisin Bran Too sweet, but high-quality bran. Rating: 3	Mother’s Cinnamon Oat Crunch Nice oatiness, but death to cinnamon. Rating: 2
365 Bite-Size Shredded Wheat A solid doppelgänger for the real thing. Rating: 3	Nature's Path Organic Flax Plus Hearty, grainy, flaxy. Rating: 3	365 Organic Strawberry Brown Rice Crisps Rice Krispies in rosewater soap. Rating: 1	cascadian farm Cinnamon Raisin Granola Tastes like week-old apple pie. Rating: 1	365 Organic Cosmic Cocos More natural cocoa flavor than Cocoa Bumpers. Rating: 3

kashi GoLean Simple, healthy, no cinnamon. Rating: 3	365 Organic Brown Rice Crisps Quite palatable despite synthetic aftertaste. Rating: 3	annie's Bunny Love Not bad. The pasta reference will have traction with yuppie kids. Rating: 3	feed granola co. Raisin Nut Crunch As generic as the name. Rating: 2	uncle sam Toasted Whole Wheat Flakes & Flaxseed Frighteningly healthy; bad spaceman food. Rating: 1
Nature's Path Organic Millet Rice Not as good as spelt. Rating: 2	peace cereal Essential 10 Yankee Candle cinnamon taste. Rating: 2	kashi Autumn Wheat The gold standard of wheat. Rating: 4	365 Organic Soy Crunch A disconcerting piña colada back-taste. Rating: 2	cascadian farm Organic MultiGrain Squares Meaty, for a cereal. Rating: 3

barbara’s Ultima Organic High Fiber Lots of twigs, tons of fiber. Rating: 4	cascadian farm Vanilla Almond Crunch Good, but minus 1 for the vanilla. Rating: 2	365 Organic Rainbow Rings Passable Froot Loops facsimile. Rating: 3	Nature's Path Organic Synergy Straightforward, inoffensive. Rating: 2	envirokidz organic Koala Crisp Like dry, chocolate-flavored Skittles. Rating: 1
arrowhead mills Shredded Wheat Boring. But good boring. Rating: 3	Nature's Path Organic Flax Plus Pumpkin Raisin Crunch Okay, despite the pumpkin flavor. Rating: 2	kashi GoLean Crunch A little overworked. Lacks the purity of the original. Rating: 2	mother’s Peanut Butter Bumpers A vaguely healthy version of peanut-butter Cap’n Crunche. Rating: 2	kashi 7 Whole Grain Puffs Like bird food on steroids. Rating: 1

Nature's Path Organic Açaí Apple Granola With Pomegranate An unspeakable disaster. Rating: 1	365 Organic Raisin Granola Oddly fake tasting, like a snack pack from JetBlue. Rating: 1	barbara’s Ultima Organic Pomegranate Pomegranates?! Barbara’s version ain’t so bad. Rating: 3	kashi 7 Whole Grain Flakes Simple and pure on the palate, with a nice crunch. Rating: 4	cascadian farm Raisin Bran Dull, tastes too organic. Rating: 1
Nature's Path Organic Honey’d Corn Flakes Bogus honey taste; flakes are oddly un-flaky. Rating: 1	barbara’s Organic Grain Shop Big and beefy. Rating: 4	Nature's Path Organic Corn Flakes Is fruit juice a good substitute for sugar? Sort of. Rating: 2	kashi Mountain Medley Granola Lots of good raisins, though probably 800 calories per bite. Rating: 2	arrowhead mills Organic Spelt Flakes Not as offensive as it sounds. Rating: 3

Nature's Path Organic Optimum Power The power fades as you go. Rating: 2	cascadian farm Purely O’s The weak little O’s dissolve sadly in the milk. Rating: 2	365 Honey Puffed Wheat Excellent heft, and almost tastes like real honey. Rating: 4	kashi 7 Whole Grain Nuggets Light; better as a topping than as a whole bowl. Rating: 3	barbara’s Cinnamon Puffins Plastic-y. And cinnamon! Rating: 1
food for life Ezekiel 4:9 Original Righteously tasty. Rating: 4	365 Oat Bran Flakes The flakes have an eerie Pringles uniformity, but they’re crisp and sweet. Rating: 3	barbara’s Shredded Spoonfuls Simple and straightforward. Rating: 3	arrowhead mills Organic Amaranth Flakes What’s amaranth? Good, that’s what. Rating: 3	365 Bite-Size Frosted Shredded Wheat Good wheat, too much frosting. Rating: 2